"on the bright side..."

My oldest son (above) is a brooder like me. Last night I realized a mistake I had made in scheduling an event for the church. What had begun as a well executed and communicated plan was falling apart in front of me as I realized this very simple yet somewhat dramatic miscalcualtion. I was visibly upset. I stomped through the house for a little bit before I decided to go take a walk and gather myself. As I walked to the door mt oldest son, who was awake way past bedtime because his spring break had begun, walked up to me and said "Daddy, I am just like you right now. I'm not on the bright side either. I lost all the guns to my Clone Troopers." There is no end to the delight I take in my son misquoting age old catch-phrases. I immediately calmed down and told him I would help him find all his clone trroper guns.

I wasn't on the bright side. It was evident and my seven year-old related. His lost toy accessories amounted to the same degree of importance as my event planning disaster. He is right of course if we consider all things- life, death, eternity etc. How many withered vines am I going to lament (Jonah 4:8) and flown breezes will I madly chase? It is far better and more constructive to be on the bright side. 

Homeless Shelter Faux Pas

Shelter
Originally uploaded by elliejay08

I volunteer at a rotating homeless shelter. My particular shift lasts from 2:30 AM until 7 AM. It is a jarring experience each time I wake up in my own house and drive over to the shelter where the smell is palatable as soon as I'm inside. It is the quietest part of the night when I arrive. Around 4 AM the men start to get up. By 5 AM almost all of them are awake. We make them breakfast and hand them packed lunches for the day.

Most mornings go smoothly; today was a bad morning though. Nothing dramatic happened except that I did something to offend one of the men and he went off on me. We are given a set of rules we're supposed to follow as volunteers. One of them is that we aren't supposed to give out toiletries and socks in the morning. All of it was supposed to be passed out the night before. This ensures no one doubles up or takes more than they need, or tries to sell their surplus. It also ensures the shelter doesn't run out of supplies.

This morning at about 3:45 AM one of the guys asked if he could get toiletries. I asked him why he didn't get any last night and he told me he went to sleep before they passed them out. I reluctantly gave him a pack of supplies. Then he asked for socks. In my only defense, it was 3:45 AM and I wasn't as sharp as I normally am. I told him that they passed out socks last night and asked why he didn't get any. He got really upset and exclaimed he already told me he went to sleep. He began berating me. I knew I had a choice at that moment but I made the wrong one. I reasoned to myself that I was coming here to volunteer my time, not to be scolded by an ungrateful and judgmental man who, after all, had asked for my help. So I fired back and things escalated. “Do you want the socks or not?” I asked. After firing some expletives my way he answered “Yes.” I looked at him and said “Then just answer my question next time.” He began arguing with me but I just handed him some socks and walked away. I almost left the shelter.

I am normally a diplomatic human and faster on my feet than that moment would indicate. However, I realized that I was so bothered at being dressed down by someone who couldn’t even feed himself much less house himself that diplomacy wasn’t in it for me. Of course my thoughts weren’t that conscious but in the end it is no less true.

The fact is, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have asked twice. I didn’t even realize that I really had because I didn’t care that much about how it would make this man feel to be questioned. I would take anyone else at their word for the most part; but not this man. I was assuming he was taking advantage of the shelter. One cannot, in many ways, help such assumptions when one is given static rules to follow, but if I’d cared about the man’s pride I would have found a more discreet way to deal with the issue. As it was, I simply disrespected his word. And because his response was so inappropriate I wrote it off.

I felt angry when I left the shelter. It took me the entire day to get to a point where I was willing to admit my culpability in that scenario. It shows me how much I still stratify the people worth my best energies and empathetic impulses. Once I made the mistake of asking again why he didn’t get the supplies everybody else got last night and once he began laying into me I should have simply stopped him and said, “Listen Arthur, please excuse me. I shouldn’t have asked again. We have rules they want us to follow and in the process of adhering to them I have forgotten my manners. I’ll get you those socks right away.”

American Journalism

I have become somewhat addicted to TED.com and here is why: some of the most intelligent and creative minds in America and beyond give their best and most poignant insights into what they see as most important. There is much to disagree with in these short monologues but there is no other forum like that I know of today. If this were ancient Greece TED.com would be the place sophists held court. In this particular clip a formal criticism is made against American journalism. It is short but insightful. The same night I watched this clip I took an informal survey of the 4 or five cable news channels I have access to. My purpose was to sample 20 straight minutes of their news information and find a ratio of what could be considered "positive" news stories against what could be "considered" negative news stories. My I had hoped to either legitimize or debunk the notion that our news outlets were "fear mongering" or catering to the public's oft cited insatiable desire for dirty news. I could not produce an actual ratio because in those twenty minutes there were no "positive" news stories between all the networks and various local news reports I witnessed. The point I make is that our news media has a needs intervention. The commentary of Alisa Miller in this video is far more revealing than my mean little survey but they both say the same thing- American journalism is not a window to the world at all- it is a bigger window into what interests Americans. I think we can all agree that this is not a capstone upon which we should make choices as to what should or should not be in the news. 

Why Elihu?

I suppose the most appropriate place to begin this blog would be a brief explanation as to its title. I will not, presently, plunder the rich historical context of the name as of yet but will instead explain its meaning as it relates to me and why I chose it. Elihu was a friend of Job most likely; at worst he was a contemporary and neighbor. He is regarded ambivalently by most on account of his long and prickly monologue of four chapters in the book of Job. He is indignant with everyone and perplexed with the obvious dimness by his present company and their inability to see the truth that he has so readily grasped. An important fact is given to the reader in that he is young- so young he waits to speak until everyone else has had their say.

 

While he makes some valid arguments in his speech he does little to distinguish himself through the haze of his self-righteousness and misguided diatribe as to why things happen. Yet, he redeems himself somewhat in the end during his powerful description of God. He gives a moving and elegant charge to the company of friends to see God as He is and it gives levity to the situation at hand. As he closes God then takes up the reign of dialogue and goes on to describe Himself in a similar vein to that of Elihu. In the end Job is redeemed, his three friends are rebuked, and Elihu is noticeable absent from the narrative again.

 

I believe that Elihu was very much in the wrong for his explanation of Job's condition and his reliance on the logical causality of iniquity equals hardship and hardship stems from iniquity. He is brash, judgmental, and unsympathetic. Yet, with that said he had an unwavering and poetic notion of God's "rightness". I think it is why God lets him off the hook in the end.

 

I relate to Elihu. I am often narrow-minded and harsh in my outlook of things. Yet, I rejoice in Elihu's confidence in justice. I also rejoice in his willingness to join the fray and ensure the weighty perspective of God’s nature into the conversation. He is confrontational, he is often wrong, and he lacks judgment- He also has a view of God that will guide him in his pursuit for truth. I see myself in Elihu. I am tempered by his story.